Oiling up something long and rigid.

It's not what you think.

Pervert.

So I spent a chunk of yesterday preparing my previously-mentioned stick. It's a long, involved process that involves some 600-grit sandpaper, a bottle of mineral oil, a blowtorch and some clear-coat varnish.

Start by sanding down the stick, and soaking it in mineral oil. Once the oil is soaked up, you take it out back and burn in a pattern with the blowtorch, then you go though another series of soakings, followed by a sealing with varnish. I'm currently at the second-soaking stage.

So far, we're working on a principle of mutual loathing. The stick hates me, and I hate it right back. But I've got the blowtorch, so it stays in line.

My instructor suggested that I name this thing. No luck on that front so far. On my list of eliminated names:

Bob
Rodney
Thumper
Thunder Donkey
Thunder Snake
Elephant's Tusk
Hrunting
Roaring Mouse
Screaming Hawk
Bill
Max
Bellowing Driveshaft
Monkey's tail
Flying Crane
Osgood
Matt
Fred
Bob
Adam
Tom
Dick
Harry
Lightning tooth
Water Spear
Quicksilver

Note that I do not have a list of possible names for this thing, so any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.