Sometimes I wonder if your average turnip could outsmart me.

I'm not dumb. At least I don't think I am. I'd like to think I have at least average intellect. I'm not saying I'm a genius either, because let's face it, I'm not.

What I do have is a complete lack of anything that could even remotely be described as common sense.

My Kung Fu school is giving a huge Bak Mei demonstration on Friday in Medicine Hat. Being the enthusiastic martial artist that I happen to be, I decided that I'd do a few demonstrations. Four of them, in fact. Two empty hand fist forms, a staff form, and a two-man fighting staff demo. This doesn't sound like much, but the two fist forms are the longest in the style (and at full-force, they're somewhat exhausting); I hate staff forms with a passion; and the two-man fighting staff demo involves having a huge guy named Tom try to beat me to death with a stick. And that one's going to be performed last, so I'm gonna be exhaused, and Tom's still gonna be trying to beat me to death with a stick.

And all that doesn't include the Lion dance I'm doing before the Kung Fu demo.

No, I take it back, I am dumb.

Note to self: obtain defibrilator before demo on Friday....

Geek sex appeal

This actually might explain a lot.

I'm an enormous geek. I admit it. You don't get through a degree in physics, minoring in biology and mathematics without being something of a geek. You don't then go on to do a PhD. in physiology and biophysics without developing a further layer of geekdom.

And yet, I'm now rapidly approaching the two-year mark on a relationship with a young woman who, two years ago, I would have described as "waaaaaaay the hell out of my league; no, scratch that, playing a different sport."

Suffice it to say, I'm in pretty deep smit. But that's pretty understandable from my end of things. Women who are funny, intelligent, beautiful, and will voluntarily hike 75 kilometers with 50 lbs on their backs are rather hard to come by for some reason. Drews, on the other hand, are pretty dime-a-douzen-y. I think a buddy of mine from my Kung Fu class phrased it best: "You're never gonna find another woman like her, so don't screw it up."

Batman

April and I went to see Batman Begins yesterday, and I feel the sudden urge to comment on this small facet of my childhood.

I enjoy ridiculing Batman. The old-school Batman, anyway. I mean, let's face it, he's a character who practically demands ridicule. He's an untouchable icon. He can figure out exactly what his enemies are thinking; he can look at a poison and figure out an antidote for it; he can leap across rooftops; can figure out the most convoluted, twisted scheme of whatever over-the-top villain he's facing; he has a car which is armed with every toy, weapon, and device imaginable; and he can beat the snot out of an army of evil henchmen without breaking a sweat.

And let's face it, he dresses like a giant bat, and doesn't think that's weird.

This was not that Batman.

I went into this movie prepared to ridicule it. Instead, I saw a superbly-made movie that dissected his motivations, and made him a human being, instead of a guy in a suit.

So I'm totally bummed.

Maybe Fantastic 4 or War of the Worlds will provide me with more ridiculing opportunities.

Be Water.

Bruce Lee, in an interview not long before his untimely death, offered the following dictum:

Empty your mind: be like water. Put water in the cup, it becomes the cup; put water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle; put water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can flow, or it can crash; it is formless, so it assumes all forms. It's simple, direct, and free.

Be water, my friend.

And that is the sum of my available wisdom for today.

75 kilometer Torture Tests

You know, there are some out there who would tell you that dragging your girlfriend on a 7-day, 75 kilometer jaunt around Vancouver island is somewhat unwise; or at the very least, an act which is ill-advised to strengthen the relationship. And, I confess, there is likely some validity to that viewpoint.

April and I hit the West Coast Trail on the 12th of August, and hike for 7 days from Port Renfrew to Bamfield.

My Dad's describing this as the Make or Break trip. I'm not sure if that kind of pressure is really warranted, but there may be some truth to that. We're going to be hiking for seven days. Just the two of us; alone, over rough terrain, sharing the trail with a bunch of slugs.

Lots of fun, that will be.

And yes, I'm really looking forward to it.