Whew. That was a close one.

With the recent striking down of the Federal Marriage Amendment in the US senate, I must confess that some measure of my faith in the democratic process has been restored. Had it passed, I would have officially have lost all of it.

Now, again, I'm neither gay, nor married; so I speak to some degree from ignorance here, but I had a chat today with a (married) friend of mine who had the following to say when I asked him whether he felt that allowing homosexuals to marry devalued his marriage:

Marriage is about love. People form lifelong bonds because of love. Our society's fear comes from connecting sex to that. Some people have dogs, and love them, never have sex with them, but they provide companionship for their whole lives and never get married... but how is that different than companionship? The real thought process for me was this; it is a right of people to get married if they love each other. The church says you cannot do that, thus ignoring that the basis for marriage is lifelong partnership, usually solidified by love. Now, I can see how the church wants to maintain that it is the authoritative body on marriage, and I can even respect that from a "we were here first" standpoint - that argument, believe it or not, works for me.

He went on to say:

But marriage is now both a religious (NOT spiritual) status and a legal status. Unless the church wants to run the entire legal system (god, or whatever, help us!) they have to share that marriage is also a legal, secular attribute and therefore can be given to homosexuals. Now, if our legal institutions want to deny people of that ability, we might as well tell blacks to get back in our ktichens and make us food. All in all, I don't feel threatened at all by gay marriage, I think it would be great if ANY couple could be as happy, fulfilled and comitted as I (we) am (are).

My response: Amen, Brother

Seriously, he'd basically said (far more eloquently, it pains me to admit, than I could) exactly what I'd been trying to say for a very, very long time. What seems to have been lost in this whole issue is that at the end of the day marriage is about love, period. What we (and by "we," I mean everyone) need to realize is that love comes in all shapes and sizes. Parent-child, man-woman, I-mankind, and yes, man-man and woman-woman.

Love is about being a part of something greater than one's self. I attended a sermon on a Valentine's day a while back, wherein the preacher said something that has resonated with me for a long time (and considering the fact that I'm not religious, that's saying quite a bit). She said: "Look upon those you love in wonder, for you are looking at the face of God." Regardless of whether you happen to believe in God, isn't that really what we're all looking for? Gay, straight, whatever. I think we're all looking to be a part of something greater than ourselves. If someone happens to find that in the face of someone of the same gender, what right does the government, the church, or anyone, really, have to deny it to them?